Getting down

So I’ve gone back and forth and whether I should even talk about this but I thought that I would be honest about the highs and low of this challenge. It would be great if this blog was always cheerful, funny and entertaining…. but I also want it to be honest.

Week three of this six week challenge has been my hardest yet, physically but especially emotionally. I’ve actually done a lot better on my eating habits. I’m more aware of what I am eating and have been a lot more active this week. I'm excited to say that I went to the gym everyday this week. Sounds like everything is going great, right? Well, I got really emotionally at my last class the other day because I felt so weak. (I HATE that I do these kinds of things) It just really sucks sometimes working out with people that are already fit when you are not. Yeah.. I knew that this was going to be hard from the start, knew that I just had to do my best and not give up blah, blah, blah….… but it still sucks.

My instructor keeps on telling me NOT to compare myself with the others…. but I still notice. I notice that the others have to wait for me to get done with an exercise because it takes me twice as long to do things. I notice that the others can do things like pushups and planks without stopping and I have to stop, fall to my knees and try my best to catch my breath. I hate that my instructor notices when I'm running too slow or slowing down so I can catch my breath. I do not mind being pushed to do well but I don’t want to feel like I’m disappointing anyone. I'm not trying to be down on myself or anything like that.  It just gets hard sometimes.

I hate that I am so weak when it comes to fitness, I’m at the gym several times a week and have been for the past 2 years. The first year I dropped weight like crazy, the second year I have not been able to lose anything. Just gained and lost the same 10 pounds over and over again. It just doesn’t seem like I’m getting anywhere. I think that I am starting to get a complex over this. It is normal to be on a year long plateau?

Maybe it is because I was never athletic in my youth and should have developed those skills when my body was developing? (I’m just making that part up but it sounds good to me.) I’ve heard that losing weight is 90% diet, 10% exercise. Don’t know if that is right, but I’m really tracking my eating this week and hoping for results. Anyways, sorry for the downer blog. I'm ok and everything, just had a bad day and get those strange thoughts sometimes. (I think that most girls know what I am talking about) Why do we do this to ourselves??  I’ll try to make it up to you on the next blog. Maybe I’ll share some crazy story from high school or something. Those are always fun.


“If you think you can or think you can’t then you are right“- Henry Ford